7/30 - This is 25

Yep,
25 now!

This still feels like 17,

I hate it when people ask me,
'Oh you're that old?'
Yep, put my time in that long,
I know I look 15,
Deal with it,

I look back now with a bit more patience than I would have at 17,
Or 19,
Or 23,

Which is funny, because I was almost busier in those years than I am now,
I don't feel as frustrated or tired of the daily grind when I remind myself of what I have done,
In 25 years I have done quite a bit more than most people my age,

I have not graduate from college,
Someday,
I have written an entire full length novel in a month,
That was hard in the moment,
But like all things the hardest thing was continuing to do it when it got hard,
I am learning from that still,

I am a published poetry writer,
In very small circles,
Hey, me, lets work on that a bit more huh?

I feel as I get older that it's time to get my shit together,
But then I look around and realize,
I've got some shit together,
I no longer live with mom,
That's pretty sweet,
I support myself,
Even if that is barely,

It's weird running around with the attitude that you're a screw up,
And then waking up and realizing you're less of one than you'd been assuming,

Go me,
I guess,

But I'm one of those people who doesn't stop and say,
Hey! Look what I did!
Nope, gotta move forward,
What's next?

Hell, I've even full on loved a couple of women,
That may not have been fully reciprocated,
Or discussed properly on either side,
But it was there,
So at least I know I'm capable of that,
And of getting through and past the remnants of that,

The last few years the goal was survival,
Scraping buy on shitty jobs and the edge of constant frustration,

I am done with that,
I was already doing this,
But I'm realizing it better now,

I'm on to improvement,
Okay, what's next?
Because there's plenty to do around here.

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