Danger: Words may be larger than they appear.

I'm sorry that we had to share those 9 miles, I'm sorry we couldn't talk, That I couldn't listen, I'm only sorry because you were in the back of the ambulance, And I was forced to stare at and into the ambulance, It was a traffic jam, I'm sorry for whatever reason you ended up in there, There's never a good ambulance trip as far as I can tell, You kept staring out the window, I kept trying not to stare at you, Trying not to wonder who you were, Why you were there, And really really hoping I wasn't watching someone expire because of traffic, We were stuck in that jam, Together, With the EMT just trying to do his job next to you, It was weird, Deeply intimate, No context, I'll never see you again, Sharing those moments with you while I was just trying to get home, It put traffic into perspective in a way never thought could happen, I wanted to get home, You wanted to make sure you were okay, Going to be okay, You had a desperation to you that slamm

I don't really believe in capital 'm' Marriage, I don't know how to say that to your face without it seeming personal, It's not, it has way more to do with everyone else and with me, than with us, I haven't met a marriage I trusted or that anyone liked it in the forever way that thing is supposed to be, I don't want to get married, I don't want to cause a divorce, I don't want to figure out who gets what assets, I don't want a longer, more complicated, way more legal version of heartbreak, I don't think anyone should jump into that for a paycheck raise, Or anything stupid and vapid like that, But it's a lot more serious than most people seem to take it at our age, Maybe I'm just not right for it, I don't know where to find the positive in it, Now that doesn't mean it doesn't work for other people, But I've seen it flop too many times to even trust it, There's only one woman I've loved my whol