24/30 - The hard part

Huh? Oh yeah I'm fine,
It's what I say so I don't have to explain it,
So I don't get the pity I don't need,
Or the sympathy that can't quite grasp it,

There's a hole in my chest,
It's been there as long as I can remember,
Torn through my self from birth,
From separation of the other half of me,
Tore this spot open,

It gets rough and burns sometimes,
When I am really feeling the hurt,
When I remind myself of the things I have been through,
I fall into it a little more on hard days,

A hug might help,
For a while,
But I just have to live with it,

Anything else and I'll fall in too deep,
I edge around it,
I don't want to lose the light,

When it all hurts,
I try not to sit too hard in myself,
So I don't do anything stupid,

I would write encyclopedias of these feelings,
If it didn't feel so self serving and stupid,

It's honest only to a point,
I can only wallow so long before I get frustrated with myself,

But I can't ignore it,
Can't escape it,

Holding on is easy,
Letting go is the hard part,

There will always be something wrong,
But I have no good way of explaining it to everyone else,
So I just smile,

Don't worry,
Everything is okay.

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