13/30 - One of those nights

It's one of those nights,
My throat is dry,
My hands are limp from too much time at the keyboard,

I don't feel like writing,
I feel drained,
I even took a nap today,
I never do that,

My head is dull and achy,
My finger badly bruised,
My chest feels bruised,
That's emotional,
The head may as well have some psychological bruising too,
So much struggle lately,
So much teaching people how to do my job,

I want to leave it with them,
When I leave every day I want it to be the last,
"You can do anything on your last day,"
One of my managers told me that once,
I like the sound of it,
I also like the ideas it brings me,
Twisted ideas concerning vandalism and revenge,
Tyler would be proud,

It's one of those nights where anything I create,
Feels wrong,
Because it's a reflection of how I feel,

I'm itchy inside,
Struggling for change,
I want better for myself and I can't seem to find it anywhere,

Just me and my blank pages staring back at me,
Waiting for me to do something about it.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lonely Hearts

My friend asked me, If you had three hearts like an octopus What would you do? I only have one heart, And most days, It feels like it has left me, To go and have a good time without me, I write postcards to the anti-life, In hopes that she will hear me, Let me know she is okay, And that I am not as alone as I feel, If I had another heart, She would be here, That phone ringing inside my chest, Would have an answer on the other side, If I had a third heart, I would be a mutant, And mutants are the future, Erin, I would be the future, If I had three hearts like an Octopus, But I don't, I don't even have the 2 I'm supposed to, It's cold and sad without her, It's less cold and sad with someone, Anyone, To hold at night, Which is why it's always harder, When I decide to go back out into the cold, Alone, Like I've always been, There are two times I am cold when I step outside, Immediately after leaving the warmth of inside, And
Read more

Where my Brain Goes at the End of the Day

Where my Brain Goes at the End of the Day At first there was space and time, And then there was Einstein, Now, he theorized Spacetime, You’re not even ready for this, It’s scientific bliss, And religions, they’re gonna be pissed, Spacetime works a little bit like a loaf of bread, Picture one in your head, Now cut a slice, Any way you want it, Forget it, I can’t explain this like this, So instead my crazy mixed up romantic brain gives it a twist, Pretend there’s me, riding on my bike at a really fast speed, And then there’s you, future lover, In your car, or spaceship, or riding your dinosaur, We’re going very fast in our respective transports, In opposite directions, Therefore your watch is going a bit slower than mine, Mine is faster than yours, What does this really amount to in layman’s terms? Simple, we haven’t met, yet Or already did, Or Schrodinger’s cat is shifting between our houses, But the point here is, some day, You and I will be going the sam
Read more

Fuck You Lucy

Untitled 4/06/09 She was the kind of girl that took life at face value, taking high school, college and the future as everyone told her to, She was the kind of girl who grew up knowing she would get three houses when her family was gone, As if somehow those three homes could replace the smiles, love and laughter of the people that once lived in them, She was the kind of girl who taught me something I now value very much, I have never been one of those people, and thankfully never will be, I grew up in a household where the only things inherited are the ability to love and cherish each other, Keep going no matter what happens to you, and above all else do what you love no matter what the cost, These are the answers to everything I know, I am not one of those people who takes all of that shit at face value, I was raised to think for myself and to constantly ask my favorite three letter word, Why? Why should I go to college? Why should I finish high school with straight
Read more