Danger: Words may be larger than they appear.

Whoever designed me loved duality, I was given a heart that rusts often, Ragged and sharp with the pumps it keeps me alive with, Yet somehow I manage to shine like a halogen, Burning bright and clear when the switch gets flicked 'on' Other times I feel like a slug, Slow and steady and obviously going somewhere, But at this speed its hard to tell where, How far it is, Or why I'm going there, I was born with a heart designed for ache, Given a propensity of hope for something better, And a mind that doesn't quit whether I want it to or not, I do my best in the most hectic of situations, Something about that makes me think I should search out the madness, Always living at your best sounds, nice, But I know I wouldn't be able to keep it up forever,

Most days there is a hole where my heart rents space, It doesn't live there too often, Only in those warm moments when I smile, And then it recedes again into some phantom zone in my body, Most days I feel alone beyond repair, Living a life where your brain is wired for another one of yourself, Is harder than a diamond covered rubik's cube, I'd like to think my heart is out there living the life it should, But it keeps forgetting to invite me along, Whole is a feeling I get when other people are smiling, Hole is the other feeling I get when nothing is conspiring, Most days I just want to be something, To make myself feel like less of an empty space, Of the two, I am here, and sometimes it feels like a waste, Why me? Why not her, who made the decision? Would I be more motivated, happy, accomplished if she were here? I know why I'm clingy, I know why I'm sad, How do you think you would feel with a twin you never had?