Danger: Words may be larger than they appear.

It's been more than a few years since it all fell apart, A few less since it finally lost integrity, Disintegrated into shouting, And things we probably meant more than we ever should have, I should have let go before that. I still can't let go of the armor I made after that, I took the monsters that were waiting outside my confidence, And I let them in, I let them in and I made things out of them, Things that made me feel comfortable when I was weak, Now, I'm strong again, And they're choking me, Keeping me from enjoying myself, Helping me to ruin very good things. So here I stand again, with the armor that is now too small for me, It keeps me from growing, I want to blame all those years ago, The things we said and meant, Even the things we didn't mean, But there's only me, I haven't cleaned up the mess I built inside of me, The lies you told me, Whatever they were, Weren't as big as the lies I told myself, I want out of this, That's what

We don't know what were doing, I don't know what to say to convince you, That all of this is more real than anything I've felt in a long time, Again, You're hesitant and at the same time holding yourself back, I can feel it with that 6 inches of space between us, While we watch movies in my empty house together, Just enough room for Jesus, You laugh at my sausage fingers, I grin at the way you eat, We've got all of this still here, And somehow we're fooling ourselves that it isn't perfect, Forcing ourselves into different time zones, So that things like hugs and brushes against one another, Don't trigger some sort of fusion reaction, It isn't perfect, But you, You rattle me, You rattle my cage and it makes me smile, You rattle the sorrow out of the worst things, You make me smile at things, Things that would normally push me into frustration, You make imperfection so fucking wonderful, I don't know where else to find thi

The morning is the only honest time of day, I don't mean when you wake up, I mean when I invariably pack it in for sleeping, There is nothing more honest than 2 am, How alone you are, And how at the same time you don't need anything else, Except your desk, and that glass of whatever you're drinking tonight, There is nothing more comforting, Than a walk in your neighborhood at 2 am, Wherein you probably carry a weapon, For personal security, And so you don't become a headline, 3 am is the perfect girlfriend, She never leaves you except for when it is time, She always returns, right there when you need her, And she always takes you away from the other girls, There is nothing more honest than an evening stuck at home, The kind of night that turns into so many others, Where you lose track of yourself, And finally remember to rest.