Danger: Words may be larger than they appear.

We lost her sometime between the first and the fourth, Kaira had her umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, And the doctor's didn't notice it in time, I'm doing my best to re-frame it from how I used to talk about it, It's a hole in my chest, But I am whole, I'm just without a piece of myself, One I'm built to need, People marvel at my ability to adapt, Or maintain my cool in discomfort, Or to completely lose my shit, All three are because I came into this world screaming, Mourning, someone no one else will ever know, I shared the womb with her, Outside of our mother, I was all she ever had, The fucked up thing about that is, She's all I want when I'm alone, Because with her here, Alone, Would never sting the way it does without her, It would never be so final, It would never be so decisive, Alone, I surround myself with the most excellent people I can find,

Fuck you! It's January! Where your insides itch, and it's too cold to run Where you want to cuddle up in some warmth and make yourself feel better, But fuck you, you're not built for that, It doesn't stick, not like it should, I haven't shaved in two weeks and I still don't have a beard, He said, for the rest of forever, There's a mountain of laundry back at my place, But I'm here, Catsitting, for my wonderful ex-neighbors, It's 10:44 PM and I was just reminded that my soul needs scratched, Reminded that I want to find a way to get a q-tip in there, If they're not for your ears they've gotta be for something right? I get told to calm down a lot, I don't really know how, I'm stuck in always on, I'm always performing, I'm always angry, Because I kicked and screamed my way into this place, I kicked, and I screamed, And I never really stopped I'm still screaming, All the time, It's cold out here, and