Danger: Words may be larger than they appear.

Father I was raised by a mother full of axioms, One of the best is, Treat people how you want to be treated, I miss the mark sometimes, I was raised by a society that taught me, That a man must take responsibility, Even for his mistakes, I am fairly certain you see me as a mistake, Dad, I refer to you in common speech as, My father, If only to make the entire thing more formal, Less familiar, Less kind, My friend Bryan tells me, That I should talk to you, While I still have the chance, Bryan no longer does, I cannot imagine that, So I keep writing, Keep hoping you'll step forward, And just talk to me, You see, You were dealt two by the universe, Two mistakes, Two things you had no idea what to do with, But before we arrived, We all lost her, Me more than the rest of you, You lucked out dad, But here's the part that really pisses me off, You were supposed to have two balls to juggle, To teach and create a person out of, Through input, an

C is compassion, It tastes like mom's best meal, It feels like that teddy bear you probably still have, It's that comfort meal you come back to when it gets tough, Mine is grilled cheese and tomato soup, Warm, helpful and always the same just when you need it, A is Affection, It looks like their smile, You know the one, The smile you get when they're just enjoying watching you exist, It feels like the absolute best fucking sweater you can buy, Like clouds made of wishbones and shooting stars, but softer, A feels like hope, when you thought you'd just lost all of it, F is Forgiveness, A guy I look up to once said, 'Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past', This is the tricky part, Being able to let go, Being able to accept what happened, And that you cannot change it, Not wanting to change it, That's the trap, It's too easy to ignore F and enjoy the memories, As an avid history fiend, I know to remember the past or I'm

Chasing Light She says she loves me, I reciprocate in as much as I can, I tell her I love her, But I'm not sure I work the way I used to, I'm afraid of not meaning it, I'm afraid of leading another one on, I'm afraid that I can't mean it the way I once did. I've been trying more lately, Practicing letting go, I let go of a lot of things very easily, Almost everything in fact, But for some reason I can't let the ghosts go, I am haunted by how much I once cared, Constantly, To the point where trying to care as hard again, Feels like drowning, Choking under the weight of my memory.

When people ask carefully, And respectfully, I try to explain it to them, It's like you have a hole in your chest, There's a phone in there, It's ringing off the fucking hook, You know with every fiber built around that hole, That the one person who gets it, and you, Is on the other end, And every time you reach in, And pick it up, And put it to your ear, Static, Every, Fucking, Time, No one really gets that, It doesn't resonate right, Let me try again, In 1945 America dropped two bombs on Japan, To end the war, To lower the loss of life, And any number of other reasons, Up to and including, We wanted to, The bombs left burn marks in the buildings of the people, The only things left from the people caught in the blast, It's kind of like that, And I mean no disrespect to Japan, Or the people affected by our actions as a nation, But it's like that, It's like I was dropped into this world, And she was burned into my sk

She said to me, 'I was totally flirted with at the taco truck, But I didn't tell have the heart to tell him, That he was but a candle to the sun I already have," And I said 'Give me those knitting needles! Because you just stole MY hobby, Baby, that! Was poetry!' At least that's what I would have said, But you see we were only two months in, And I REALLY didn't want to scare her off, Don't make it weird, Just smile and say thank you, and then fumble on a 'Yeah, I really like you too,' Now kick rocks bashfully while marveling at her ability, To make you, Mr. Grumpypants, Smile, Wonder how 2 months in, She's already through your defenses, And the first thing you think about when you wake up, Think about how she is just as weird as you, How she doesn't give a shit about what happened before, Unless you bring it up first, The part where she treats you with respect, And adores you when you're being stupid,