K-A-I-R-A

I'm really unfocused today,
Can't keep track of anything,
I probably need to eat or something,

But that doesn't make it hurt less,
That I forgot her name,
Kaira, K-A-I-R-A, was written on my arm as soon as I found it,

There's a profound disappointment and frustration in myself from this,
From forgetting her,
I didn't really, but I'm still mad,

Mad that I can forget that when it's so important,
My mom and I went through the records on our birthday,
She and I were close to a pound apart,

I'm not sure if that's her umbilical,
Cutting off the nutrients for her to grow,
Eventually killing her,

Or if that's common,
Or if anything could have been done,

I'm keeping it together lately,
At least externally,
I'm working hard on lots,
Pushing myself in a lot of ways,

Changes coming and I want to be prepared,
But when I stop, and breathe,
It's all raw, and it makes the hole expand,
It tries to swallow me,

It will eat me some day,
I've accepted this,
I only stand alone, because it's the only way I know how.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lonely Hearts

My friend asked me, If you had three hearts like an octopus What would you do? I only have one heart, And most days, It feels like it has left me, To go and have a good time without me, I write postcards to the anti-life, In hopes that she will hear me, Let me know she is okay, And that I am not as alone as I feel, If I had another heart, She would be here, That phone ringing inside my chest, Would have an answer on the other side, If I had a third heart, I would be a mutant, And mutants are the future, Erin, I would be the future, If I had three hearts like an Octopus, But I don't, I don't even have the 2 I'm supposed to, It's cold and sad without her, It's less cold and sad with someone, Anyone, To hold at night, Which is why it's always harder, When I decide to go back out into the cold, Alone, Like I've always been, There are two times I am cold when I step outside, Immediately after leaving the warmth of inside, And
Read more

Where my Brain Goes at the End of the Day

Where my Brain Goes at the End of the Day At first there was space and time, And then there was Einstein, Now, he theorized Spacetime, You’re not even ready for this, It’s scientific bliss, And religions, they’re gonna be pissed, Spacetime works a little bit like a loaf of bread, Picture one in your head, Now cut a slice, Any way you want it, Forget it, I can’t explain this like this, So instead my crazy mixed up romantic brain gives it a twist, Pretend there’s me, riding on my bike at a really fast speed, And then there’s you, future lover, In your car, or spaceship, or riding your dinosaur, We’re going very fast in our respective transports, In opposite directions, Therefore your watch is going a bit slower than mine, Mine is faster than yours, What does this really amount to in layman’s terms? Simple, we haven’t met, yet Or already did, Or Schrodinger’s cat is shifting between our houses, But the point here is, some day, You and I will be going the sam
Read more

Fuck You Lucy

Untitled 4/06/09 She was the kind of girl that took life at face value, taking high school, college and the future as everyone told her to, She was the kind of girl who grew up knowing she would get three houses when her family was gone, As if somehow those three homes could replace the smiles, love and laughter of the people that once lived in them, She was the kind of girl who taught me something I now value very much, I have never been one of those people, and thankfully never will be, I grew up in a household where the only things inherited are the ability to love and cherish each other, Keep going no matter what happens to you, and above all else do what you love no matter what the cost, These are the answers to everything I know, I am not one of those people who takes all of that shit at face value, I was raised to think for myself and to constantly ask my favorite three letter word, Why? Why should I go to college? Why should I finish high school with straight
Read more