Asymmetrical Affection

Writing seems stupid right now,
I'm preoccupied,
About a girl,

I can't seem to let go,
Right now,
Or at all,
Ever,
Maybe?

I don't really know,
I know I screwed up,
And at the same time,
My only fault,
Was being excited,

I feel stupid,
I probably am stupid,

But it's the only thing that makes any goddamn sense lately,
Which is a lot,

And that's stupid too,
Since there's practically nothing going on,

You still have me cardiac arrested,
Playing rebel in my ventricles,
Without even trying,

I still refuse to apologize for all of,
This,

You're not fat,
You're fucking beautiful,
You're crazy,
But I obviously like that,
You make me feel stupid and nervous,
And I probably am more than I am willing to admit,

I don't know what to do,
My brain won't shut up,
My heart won't stop hurting,
I wish they'd stop,

I wish I could stop,
Because at this point,
Trying to figure it out,
Is confusing,
And hurts,
Because I can't make it work right,
And I want to,
So fucking badly.

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