Schrodinger's Girlfriend

We don't know what were doing,
I don't know what to say to convince you,
That all of this is more real than anything I've felt in a long time,
Again,
You're hesitant and at the same time holding yourself back,
I can feel it with that 6 inches of space between us,
While we watch movies in my empty house together,
Just enough room for Jesus,

You laugh at my sausage fingers,
I grin at the way you eat,
We've got all of this still here,
And somehow we're fooling ourselves that it isn't perfect,
Forcing ourselves into different time zones,
So that things like hugs and brushes against one another,
Don't trigger some sort of fusion reaction,

It isn't perfect,
But you,
You rattle me,
You rattle my cage and it makes me smile,
You rattle the sorrow out of the worst things,
You make me smile at things,
Things that would normally push me into frustration,
You make imperfection so fucking wonderful,

I don't know where else to find this,
And I don't understand driving up here to us,
And not getting the whole deal,
I really don't know much about what I want,
Sometimes, I come up with really insane stupid ideas,
About that,

But I know, that I want all of this,
I know I want to feel as awkward and hilariously dumb,
As charming and funny with my clumsiness,
And as good at cheering you up, as you say I am,

I don't know what I really want,
Except that lately,
And a while ago,
You're part of it.

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