11/30 - I finally understand

I finally understand some of it,
If I let myself,
I would drink every night too,
I would try and forget how much it all hurts,
How much it all sucks day to day,

But instead,
All I can do is slam my head into the wall everyone tells me has progress on the other side,
When the fuck is this thing going to give?

I get it a little bit,
But I still don't get the choices you made,
Is it really easier to run?
Or just more comfortable to drink it away?
I know I can't get anything done working on it,
So I can't imagine how you must feel after all these years of barely facing any of it.

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