Danger: Words may be larger than they appear.

C is compassion, It tastes like mom's best meal, It feels like that teddy bear you probably still have, It's that comfort meal you come back to when it gets tough, Mine is grilled cheese and tomato soup, Warm, helpful and always the same just when you need it, A is Affection, It looks like their smile, You know the one, The smile you get when they're just enjoying watching you exist, It feels like the absolute best fucking sweater you can buy, Like clouds made of wishbones and shooting stars, but softer, A feels like hope, when you thought you'd just lost all of it, F is Forgiveness, A guy I look up to once said, 'Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past', This is the tricky part, Being able to let go, Being able to accept what happened, And that you cannot change it, Not wanting to change it, That's the trap, It's too easy to ignore F and enjoy the memories, As an avid history fiend, I know to remember the past or I'm...

Chasing Light She says she loves me, I reciprocate in as much as I can, I tell her I love her, But I'm not sure I work the way I used to, I'm afraid of not meaning it, I'm afraid of leading another one on, I'm afraid that I can't mean it the way I once did. I've been trying more lately, Practicing letting go, I let go of a lot of things very easily, Almost everything in fact, But for some reason I can't let the ghosts go, I am haunted by how much I once cared, Constantly, To the point where trying to care as hard again, Feels like drowning, Choking under the weight of my memory.

When people ask carefully, And respectfully, I try to explain it to them, It's like you have a hole in your chest, There's a phone in there, It's ringing off the fucking hook, You know with every fiber built around that hole, That the one person who gets it, and you, Is on the other end, And every time you reach in, And pick it up, And put it to your ear, Static, Every, Fucking, Time, No one really gets that, It doesn't resonate right, Let me try again, In 1945 America dropped two bombs on Japan, To end the war, To lower the loss of life, And any number of other reasons, Up to and including, We wanted to, The bombs left burn marks in the buildings of the people, The only things left from the people caught in the blast, It's kind of like that, And I mean no disrespect to Japan, Or the people affected by our actions as a nation, But it's like that, It's like I was dropped into this world, And she was burned into my sk...

She said to me, 'I was totally flirted with at the taco truck, But I didn't tell have the heart to tell him, That he was but a candle to the sun I already have," And I said 'Give me those knitting needles! Because you just stole MY hobby, Baby, that! Was poetry!' At least that's what I would have said, But you see we were only two months in, And I REALLY didn't want to scare her off, Don't make it weird, Just smile and say thank you, and then fumble on a 'Yeah, I really like you too,' Now kick rocks bashfully while marveling at her ability, To make you, Mr. Grumpypants, Smile, Wonder how 2 months in, She's already through your defenses, And the first thing you think about when you wake up, Think about how she is just as weird as you, How she doesn't give a shit about what happened before, Unless you bring it up first, The part where she treats you with respect, And adores you when you're being stupid, ...

I don't understand this, She says she likes me, Likes spending time with me, Kisses me goodbye, But then, She's all over her phone when she's around me, And somehow I never get responded to like that, Or my phone is fucking it all up between us, And yeah, I'm definitely overthinking it, But I'm hung up on this girl, And she's just being vague as hell, And practically ignoring me, But then if I drop it, And walk away, She's back in three weeks, Saying how much she misses me, Or how sorry she is for being disrespectful to me, I get that people can be busy, I get that life is fucking rough on people, I get that more than a lot of people, I don't get that you can say those things, And not act on them, I don't get that I can be completely honest, And get the most minimal detail, Conversation, Or explanation, Possible, I am writing paragraphs, And getting one word sentences, I am explaining how I feel, And getting told, Yeah, th...

The day we met, You had a two foot tall bright blue mohawk, And a smile that was brighter than the springtime Atlanta sun, Just as warm too, The butterflies in my stomach need sunglasses for that smile, The first time we kissed, Was on your front doorstep, After one of the worst movies I have seen to this day, That is one of those decisions I will forever be glad I seized, When I broke up with you, It hurt, Both of us, But I still maintain it was right, I was not ready to share any word like love with anyone, Not that soon after the girl before you, And that was my fault, I definitely regretted that decision constantly after that, We started hanging out again, I am still mad, That seeing you makes me write such good shit, Mostly about you, Hearts, ventricles, rebellion, You know the deal, I am scared, Because you are so damn wonderful, That we get along this well, Is kind of spooky sometimes, If I was to be serious for a second, I'd tell you how ex...

Walking to the bus stop to meet you, I could only think one thing, This is what breathing feels like, Warm sun on my face, And in my face, All I could do was smile, Even with weirdos on the bus next to me, Even with it being warm and me being sweaty and nervous, Nothing but smiling the whole time, I had been holding my breath all week, I told myself I wouldn't let you leave without kissing you, I went in planning on doing it as soon as I could, Possibly when I met you, But instead of that I waited a bit, And it was still awesome, Just like you, For no fucking reason at all, Except that is was you, And me, Kissing, You smell really good, Even after we ate food, And cooked chili, And sat around in a warm house all day, Holding you, Wow, And walking home from the bus stop, Seeing you off like that, I couldn't do anything but smile, And breathe, Again.