Danger: Words may be larger than they appear.

I don't love like everyone else, I'm not afraid of letting go, I'm not afraid of being alone, I already live with those two every day, I already live without someone I need, I've learned to deal with it, You live with a soreness long enough, Your body gets used to it, It's kind of like that, I've adapted to this, The first few times hurt real bad, Felt like I wouldn't come back, But the echoes of couplings past, Well, those pale to what I've been unpacking, I don't sleep well, I push myself easily, I break myself more than anything else can, I've got too much to do right now, But someday, I'm probably going to choose how I leave, I'd like the punctuation to be on my terms.

I'm really unfocused today, Can't keep track of anything, I probably need to eat or something, But that doesn't make it hurt less, That I forgot her name, Kaira, K-A-I-R-A, was written on my arm as soon as I found it, There's a profound disappointment and frustration in myself from this, From forgetting her, I didn't really, but I'm still mad, Mad that I can forget that when it's so important, My mom and I went through the records on our birthday, She and I were close to a pound apart, I'm not sure if that's her umbilical, Cutting off the nutrients for her to grow, Eventually killing her, Or if that's common, Or if anything could have been done, I'm keeping it together lately, At least externally, I'm working hard on lots, Pushing myself in a lot of ways, Changes coming and I want to be prepared, But when I stop, and breathe, It's all raw, and it makes the hole expand, It tries to swallow me, It will eat me some day, I've ...